Self-differentiate. [self-dif-uh-ren-shee-eyt].
verb (used only with first person pronouns)
1. to form or mark differently from other such things [in terms of the self]; to distinguish [oneself from other human beings].
2. to make a distinction.
Source: Dictionary of Naomi's Invented Vocabulary, LLC. Copyright © 2012. All rights reserved.
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Every person likes to feel as though he or she fits in; as human beings we crave a sense of belonging.
Towards the end of my time at school I no longer felt this sense of belonging. Don't get me wrong, I adored my time at UW. But I was ready to move on from the college life before I was able to get out. It was definitely a hard feeling to deal with and I felt as though my mood was scrawled across my face; I was upset to say the least. Yet, I knew from my previous summer experience that I'd feel a sense of belonging once I was back in NYC. I am not exaggerating when I say this was the only thought keeping me going - the light at the end of a very dark tunnel.
And I was right - I belong here.
But now that I feel as though I belong, I find myself looking for ways to be different. Ironic, no? I have a strong distaste for being just one in a million (or 8+ million, in the case of NYC). Even though I can relate better to people here than I can in other places, I don't want to totally blend in. So I'm on a (potentially never-ending) search to find ways to stand out. Not obnoxiously, of course (don't worry, you won't see me sporting a mohawk and/or creepy spikes any time soon...) but, in a weird not-hipster kind of way, being different is (and always has been) important to me.
In order to be different, to "self-differentiate" as I defined above, and stand out in the masses, I am on a mission to continuously:
1. Be mindful of others. I'm not saying that New Yorkers are mean-spirited people, but they definitely do, at times, seem to live up to the pushy, snobbish stereotype that the rest of the world gives them. I have recently started to catch (and stop) myself swearing under my breath when people get too close to me on the subway or sidewalks. I've always been a stickler for having my own personal space, but in a city as big as the Big Apple, I have realized I'm not going to get much of it. So I've decided to revel in the rare moments in which I have more than a two-foot circumference around me on the train, and otherwise just get used to the intimate proximity I usually have with pretty much everyone around me. Trust me, it takes a conscious and constant effort to do this.
2. NOT smoke cigarettes. This has not been a hard mission for me to accomplish. In my long 21.75(ish) years of life, I have not once touched a cigarette, let alone smoked one. And I plan to keep it that way. Sometimes I feel as though I might be the only person alive in this city that doesn't smoke. It's pretty easy to think this way when the "oxygen" I'm breathing is most likely composed of (approximately) 89% cigarette smoke, 11% other fumes/city emissions (if I'm lucky a little O2 might be thrown in there somewhere...).
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So there you have it. Pretty anti-climactic, I know. These are not life changing differences, but they are differences non-the-less, and I will continue my search for ways to stand out in a non-material manner.
I'll update this post when more self-differenting thoughts arise, so keep a look out! :)
xo
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